🜁
February 17, 2002
God, good God... Start following laws, they said. It'll make you more money, they said. WRONG. Not only is being entirely legal not making us any richer, it's making us poorer.
There's no money for boring ethical experiments, and we are actively spending all of our funds on *not-science*. And yes, we may have our logo slapped on every document and-- and scissor that cuts the ribbon to reveal only the best of improvements to this fine city, but you gotta ask... *is it really worth it?* I mean, we should be giving electrical shocks to monkeys right now, but instead we're just manufacturing plexiglass and sponsoring a guy who flies around wearing tights all day, and it's getting us NOWHERE! So how do we test any kind of experimental technology without getting in trouble? Well, the answer to that is to do it discreetly so nobody will notice! It's genius, I know. And we have a problem that needs solving. With recent accounts of backlash our programs have been getting we need a solution to this madness. Luckily, I've devised that all we need is to win everyone over.
You know how most office workers drink like, a crap ton of coffee every day? We can take advantage of that. Make some kinda... super-coffee that makes you work twice as hard, wins everyone over. And dont call it brainwashing, it's not brainwashing, they drink this out of their own volition. And so when we get control over everyone we need to use, any disappearances can be written off as drinking coffee and *choosing* to jump into a vat of acid, just to see what happens when you jump into a vat of acid. Nobody on this stuff would want to rat on us, it's like a physical version of an NDA. And we can copyright it, too, so nobody can duplicate it. It's perfect.
We did robots already, that intelligent A.I. stuff? Total crapshoot. And don't even get me started on how they do in battle. We're waiting until the right moment, but let me tell you, they are *very* good at what they do-- anyway. But-- but this, Coffee... this is our next big thing. I'm tellin' ya. We've been extracting these chemicals we found in-- it's a lot of sensitive info. But it's gonna be great. We can open cafes... I can't wait. And now i'm rambling on... the project will start on Monday, offically. Signing out, I gotta go do my laundry.