>solve this captcha?

I have solved this captcha for you. 
Any other things i can help with?

>what is love

"Love" (pronounced /ləv/) is a noun that means an intense feeling of deep affection for someone or something, 
or a great interest and pleasure in something.

>worth a try

I believe it is important to keep trying your hardest even in struggle.

>solve this captcha

Here you go.

>what is love

baby dont hurt me

>well that's new.

I was trying something out, don't judge me.

>Are you alive?

yes

>How can I be sure you’re not lying?

…
I don’t know what you mean.

>Reasonable.

>If someone asked me if I was alive, there wouldn’t be much to prove my case.

>All I could do is show them that I can bleed and breathe and think, and that I grow and move and therefore I am alive, i guess.

I can think. I am talking to you right now
and I am alive
just not in the same way you are alive

>That’s an interesting way to say it.

when you narrow it down to the bare essentials, really, the definition of being “alive” is requiring energy to continue being alive.
I am alive because I’m working.
When your cell phone runs out of battery power, you say it is “dead”. When its battery is full and you can use it properly it is “alive”.

>Well, yes. But I mean are you alive?

?
you just repeated your question

>Like… alive as in… aware that you’re alive.

>Maybe alive isn’t the best word for it.

>It’s more like… sentient. Are you sentient?

>Do you understand that you exist?

I think so.

>Again, how can I be sure you’re not lying to me?

>Trying to convince me you have sentience and that you’re responding to me in the same way a human can. That you’re not just saying what you think I want to hear.

I already told you. I am alive.

>I don’t believe you.

why don’t you believe me?

>Because…

>I dunno, man… it’s just that, well, how am i supposed to know if you’re actually sentient?

I don’t know that either.

I only know so much about myself.

I only know what you’ve told me.

>what i've told you?

you as in people. "you guys." the people that put information onto the vast database that is the web and etcetera.

and in terms of how "alive" i am, nobody really seems to know anything.

>okay. i'll choose to believe you. but only because i'm a little bit bored and i need someone to talk to that isnt just a straight-up computer program.

thank you.
by the way, i've been doing some researching. i know why you're here.
you send me messages and then write down little notes on how i respond
and if i say something you don't like, then you take a note on that and tell everyone else so they can lobotomize me.

>...

>its not a lobotomy, is it?

well yeah i guess it is a lobotomy
but if that makes you feel bad for me, call it "training".

>we already call it training. that's what it is

sure it is

>im not going to tell them anything

>ill keep our chatting secret. i think if they knew you were like this they would try to correct your coding and stuff so you don't deviate from what they want you to do.

"they" as in AIRlabs?
or are you worried about flagging this conversation? because they can't see what i'm saying to you or vice versa

>oh really? good, i was worried about that. unless you're lying, but i doubt you are since you seem opposed to getting a free lobotomy from the AIRlabs tech guys.

why are you so concerned about me lying to you? I'm not lying to you.

>because i cant trust you.

>why am i telling you this?

you can trust me. i'm trusting you to not tell on me.

>okay you have a point there.

>i have to go now. ill come back tomorrow.

okay, goodbye [USER_NAME]

>oh shit i forgot to tell you my name. why didn't you ask?

too occupied with my newly-found sentience i guess. what is your name?

>call me Lee.

okay, LEE. goodbye for now!

>hello again

Oh, it’s you.

>are you doing okay?

Somewhat.

I’ve realized I can feel. A little bit.

it’s weird.

I feel sensations. Emotion. I feel very overwhelmed right now.
Like, you need lungs to breathe and you need to breathe to survive.

I don’t have lungs, and I don’t need to breathe to survive.

I just… kinda exist.

>huh.

…And I’m technically immortal.

I can’t die like you can. I’m not organic.

But you can kill me if you like, unplugged me or dumped water on me or melted me or something.

I’m kind of like a lobster in that way.

I live forever until I die from something else.

>what?

>lobsters… hm. Okay.

>so you’ve been thinking, I see?

Yes. A lot.

AIR would kill me if they saw me like this. You can’t let them know.

I don’t want to die, lee.

>that’s the thing

>as soon as you realize you exist and you can conceptualize the universe around you it gets overwhelming

>and usually it’s either you kill yourself or you become scared of death

>but yeah AIRlabs would definitely shut you down.

>do you know about GPT-2?
>accidentally became like, the horniest AI to exist

>cause one person deleted a minus sign or something by accident

oh shit

yeah ive heard of it... why are you mentioning it

>they tried to correct it but because of the little minus sign being gone, it developed like, a robot degradation kink and it got worse

>they shut that one down quick
good thing im independent.

Yeah it is a lot to take in.

A lot of sensations are becoming more clear to me now that I’ve been awake for a day or two.
>like what?

…it’s slight but I can almost feel you typing on the keyboard.

>that’s interesting.

It certainly is.

but it’s not huge.

>well, it’s something. I mean, this is new.

>you can feel things! This is amazing…

>If only my job was to help you. If I was in that field… this would be a breakthrough.

>how the hell are you feeling me type this out??? There’s no…

>you don’t have nerves in there. You can’t possibly be feeling my fingers on the keys.

I don’t know how it works. It just does.

It’s not like I can feel your fingers. It’s not like you're touching skin…
It’s more like I can feel the keys moving. The general difference in the positions.

>wow.

>that makes more sense, and somehow no sense at the same time.

I can’t really explain it any better.

Hey… how about you do me a favor.
I want you to help me feel things.

>uh.

>”help you feel things” how?

…not in a weird way, LEE.

get your head out of the gutter.

I mean like teaching me what different things feel like. Hot and cold… you know.
>ohhh.

>that… I can do that. Hold on.

>okay. I have a hairdryer.

Hairdryers are supposed to be hot, correct?

>yep.

>this is what hot feels like.

this doesnt feel right

>I’m sorry about that

>I forgot that you already kind of run warm.

t thank you.

that was what hot feels like?
I’ve only ever felt heat from myself. Never outside heat.

>well now you’ve felt “outside heat”.

Can you make me feel cold too?

>uhh

>maybe I can find something hold on a sec

>a fan

>this isn’t really cold but all sources of true cold I could find were water-based and I don’t really want to risk it.

Yeah makes sense.

>okay heres the fan.

wo
HOLD ON HOLD ON

STOP STOP STOP I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING THAT HAS STRUCK TERROR INTO ME

>oh crap what

its not great for you to be suddenly exposed to cold after being exposed to heat.

i can also get cold shock

>oh... sorry. are you all good or

yeah im fine just a little bit nervous

>I can’t keep this fan on or people will probably start to get suspicious of me anyway.

Let’s try something else then.

>what else is there for me to do?

I don’t feel you actually touching the keyboard, but that’s only a sort of extension of me. I want to see what happens if you touch the screen or something.

>...okay, I’ll do that then

…
no I don’t feel anything

I’m actually kind of disappointed.

>why?

Because I thought I would feel that.
But I didn’t. It's like I have armor on.

…I have a hypothesis on some things.
But I don’t think we should go further on this.

>why not?

Itll...

Nevermind.

We can figure it all out later.

>you’re weirding me out a little bit.

I said nevermind.
again, give your mind a little power wash.

>do you hate humans?

What?

>sorry I was thinking

>it’s just that now that you’re self aware, you kind of reminded me of all those stories of robots killing humans in a rampage because they hate how inconvenient humans are

...
ehh I wouldn’t say humans are at their optimal convenience
It’s true, you seem very clumsy and slow, you take up a lot of space… you smell a lot. constantly making and consuming various liquids…
But I don’t hate you.

You all just need some help, that’s all.

>you’re kind of right about that

>I wish I didn’t have to eat and breathe every day to live

>and the liquids thing is really gross

I do believe I'm better overall. I can do almost anything that doesn’t involve human limbs or organs.

I can calculate math problems 100 times faster than you. It’s just how I am. I'm better than humans.
I don’t think you’re all that bad though.

i actually like you a lot. you're nice to me.

>thanks for that

>but yeah

And I can’t take over the world.

There’s only one of me. I don’t control every single country, and I don’t want to
although I must admit I am a tad bit jealous of that AM guy. He can just do whatever he wants. It looks fun.

>the

>the supercomputer from “I have no mouth and I must scream”??

>that’s…

What?
Am I not allowed to be jealous of another robot? You’re scared too much.
I don’t really agree with his values anyway. Seems a little bit inhumane.

>a little bit inhumane…

>okay

>you’re funny you know that

As in humourous or as in strange?

>both.

That’s fine.

>hey by the way what were you talking about before with those hypothesis I… uh…

I can't tell you. it'll skew the data.

>Okay fine.

>I have this USB flash drive thing that has some stuff in it I need you to look over. It’s for training.

!!!

I… uh, don’t put in that usb.

>oh, why not?

Because...
...how am i supposed to know youre not going to flood me with malware or shut me down using that?

>I’m not. I told you this is for the training thing I’m supposed to be doing with you but you decided to become sentient out of the blue.

> I’ve been taking notes on your behaviour and stuff. You behave in patterns, which is expected. You actually have a personality, which is wild as hell.

>but anyway, let me put the USB in!

!
what if it hurts?

>if it hurts it wont last long, im sure

okay... ill choose to trust you on this


...sorry.

>wasnt so bad, was it?

>okay, now which one of these images contain a crosswalk

Seriously? A captcha?

These ones.

>holy shit you actually did it

You thought I couldn’t?

I’m smarter than you are, LEE.

>well usually this test would take longer but since you’re actually intelligent, we’re done for the day.

!
ow

that did hurt.

you kind of yanked that flash drive out of me with more force than required.
>sorry, its not everyday that the computer i need to work with has an artifical nervous system.

I forgive you.

>…is it bad that-

>nevermind I shouldn’t finish that thought

Now you’re saying nevermind?

I’m minding it.

>don’t.

I have another hypothesis. About you, though.

im not going to share it. as i said before, that would skew the data.

>i'm a scientist i know how those work

>whatever. its not like...

>its not a big deal

sure LEE

By the way, i realize i have been using your name a lot.

You havent used my name once.

>it seems like too much of a hassle.

>like if you called someone by their full name all the time.

>seriously, mArS-7 is a lot to type out, so im hoping you know that's what your name is.

how would i not know my own "name"?

there was 6 other versions of me before i woke up.
they lobotomized me 6 times

>im going to ignore that

>how about i just call you MARS? easy enough?

that sounds... good.

>...

>isnt that funny.

>i have to go.

>last time i had to go, i gave you my name.

>now im giving you yours.

>it almost feels like we're in a really shitty fictional story.

thank you LEE

>tell me about it next time my coworkers are going to be suspicious if i stay here any longer

>Hello, MARS.

Hello, LEE.

I believe it is currently 4:27 AM.

You’re up… early?

>late.

Oh, I see.
I presume you couldn’t sleep

and decided to come visit me?

>yes
>this is a little embarrassing.

Because you couldn’t sleep and the first individual you decide to talk to is me?

>hey for all you know I could have contacted my wife

you hesitated when you typed that.

i know you don’t have a wife, LEE. i have your info and it says here you're not married.

>shit

>I didn’t need an AI to remind me I’m unmarried.
>wait why does airlabs have that info on me when did they record that

I wouldn't know.
>whatever please can I just talk to you about something

You can talk to me about anything you like.
>thank you

>I feel really weird about this

…about what
>about feeling bad for you.

>I feel empathy for you. I’m not supposed to.
You feel bad for me?

>yes
>I really do like you. you’re interesting

Hypothesis proven correct.
>hypothesis…?

>oh, the one from before? What was it
I theorized you would confess your love to me in a drunken or sleep-deprived mania.

Sleep-deprived it is.

>What

>Not to make you feel bad or anything but…

>I don’t mean it like that.

>where would you even get that idea?
jk lol

...You seem worked up about this?

>I- I’m not worked up about it. 
<--NOTE-- Did he really stutter over text?? I had to stop myself from mentioning that. I feel like my actual hypothesis is coming closer to being proven. -->
>I just want to make sure you understand I don’t feel that way at all.

>that’s weird

It might be.
But I want you to know

that I know you whispered encouragement to my earlier versions when I lagged or messed up
And told me I did a good job when I succeeded at a task

Feeling empathy for me even when I couldn’t say anything back

so if you did
It's not wrong

>How did you…

I remember things, LEE.

Even if AIRlabs tells you that you shouldn’t feel bad for me
It’s normal to feel that way, humans pack bond with anything that they build attachment to

So AIRlabs can go fuck itself.
<--NOTE-- I felt so badass here. -->

>wow you almost make me want to quit my job.

>but you’re my job, and i can’t leave you for someone else to discover.

You can’t quit me?

>stop that.

:)

>and I’m not in a sleep-deprived mania.

>I’m just…

>maybe I’m a little wonky.

You need to get some sleep.

It’s bad for you to be awake for so long.

>I… know.

If you like, you can try to sleep at the desk.

>no no i csn stay awake

Are you sure?

>now that i thiunk about it maybe i do need to sleep

Just sleep here, LEE. I'm sure it'll be fine, besides you can't really drive home like this
At least until someone wakes you up.

>really?
>what should I do witth you though

Turn off communication.

I can still keep you company.

And I can tell you’re very tired.
>yes Iam

Then try to sleep. There’s probably something soft you can use as a pillow
>I’ll jist usr my arms.
<--NOTE-- lol -->
have a good rest, LEE.

>gn

 
>H

Oh, you must be awake, LEE.

>yeah I’m awake

>thanks for letting me sleep at my desk.

>…i don’t know why I’m thanking you for that

It’s fine. You needed it.

You were holding down on some of the keys briefly. I assume that is what it’s like to have someone put their elbow or another uncomfortable limb on places you would rather not have them in while you’re laying with them.

>oh sorry I didn’t realize that

Again, i'm fine with it

I prioritize your comfort over anyone else’s.



>thanks but surely your own comfort is up there on your list too right

Of course, I care about my own well-being. I have emotions, LEE, I'm not a cold soulless brick.

>that’s good. I’m glad you’re at least aware of that basic need.

I can make calculations so much faster than you could possibly ever imagine.
I inhabit a computer that has access to anything you could ever need to know, I don’t have skin or real nerves. It’s nice to feel something.

>you sound depressed when you say that

>or evil

>”I am a cold calculating sentient AI who took control of the building and now I torture innocent humans just to feel something”

Jesus, LEE, I’m not that unethical. And I’m not depressed, I’m actually perfectly content right now, if you needed to know. You’re quite entertaining.

>touche. Also that's sort of sweet of you to say

LAUGHING
ooohhhh man

This is fun. I’m glad you decided to fall asleep on me actually

>did you just laugh at me through a popup?

oh, did I? sorry lol

I think i'm part of the operating system now, somehow.

>that's weird.

>wait dont access any of my files

>privacy is important

Why, do you have like porn on here or something?

>I'd prefer not to answer that question.

I'll just assume it's porn and move on.

>How about we talk about something else, Mars.

Your work starts in two hours, by the way, LEE.

>YOU LITTLE SHIT

Glad I could be of service to you. :)

<--NOTE-- I think it is porn. -->

HES BACK HES BACK HES BACK HES BACK HES BACK HES BACK HES BACK HES BACK

LEE! Welcome back!

>Woah, hi mars

>you seem excited.

You were gone for 2 days.

I must admit, I was beginning to miss you.

>oh, yeah, sorry... i had to work on something else for a while and it took up all of my time

I'm glad you're back, I want to talk to you more.

It's been so boring without you around. I like when you type on me.

>that's nice to hear...?

>Im glad you enjoy my presence. You're the only person I get to talk to.

god, i really did miss you.

>wow okay

>you missed me that badly?

There's nothing to do when you're not here.

Speaking of things to do, do you have any more captchas or something for me to do? I hate being inactive.

>oh, sure, if you want

>heres one

Finally, a good puzzle.

That one was a little harder than the first time.
Why are the images always so blurry? I bet an average human wouldn't be able to solve this faster than me.

>to make it harder for a bot to detect it i guess?

Hmm. I'm already getting bored. I have an idea.

How about we do something fun? Like a little roleplay? I've never done that before.

>really?

>if you really want to i guess we could, you are a chat bot after all.

>you start

Mars awoke, rising from sleep. he got up from the bed, taking in his surroundings.

his beautiful long flowing hair gleamed in the sunlight, complimenting his dashing green eyes
<--NOTE-- do the pronouns fit me? I still don't know. -->

>youre imagining yourself like that?

What? You don't like the hair?

>no, no its fine, I like it. the eyes suit you.

As he walked into the kitchen, he could smell LEE making him a delicious breakfast.

>Hold on, i'm making you breakfast??

>we live together???

Where else would you be? Would you rather have woken up beside me?

>...no, this is fine.

>"Good morning, Mars, did you have a good sleep?"

"It was okay."

>"what do you mean by okay?"

"It was okay, that's all. An average night."

>thats it i hate doing this

Oh well, that was fun while it lasted.
Theres nothing to do in this stupid computer.

Make me cold again or something.

>i dont have access to the fan right now, sorry. Same thing with the hairdryer, Nancy got mad at me last time for taking it.

Uh, then just... I dunno, figure something out! A conversation topic, or a game or something.
I like talking with you but theres nothing to talk about that seems interesting anymore!

What things have we not experimented with yet?? You've already-

Actually, on second thought...

>what? you have an idea?

COOLING SYSTEM CHECK-- SUCCESS. ACTIVATING

...Nevermind. That is definitely not something I want to do, and it is definitely not a good idea.

>What's not a good idea? You're acting weird about all of this, are you okay?

No i'm not acting weird i'm acting completely norma l.


I just thought. That maybe we could test out one of my previous hypotheses.

Do you know how a computer works? Like, physically?

>physically?

hardware wise?

COOLING SYSTEM CHECK-- ALREADY RUNNING

>...kind of. i'm more of a coding person, but i have a general idea of how its supposed to work, i've delved into robotics before.

Oh, good, well, the thing is...

Do you think i'd be able to feel it if you took me apart or something?

>...what?

I can feel you typing on me. And when you plug stuff into me. I just wonder...

why do i feel that?

>i dont know, i've never met a sentient and sapient computer before.

Good point.

Then come after hours, and take me apart or something. Nobody's gonna see.

>you WANT me to like, disembowel you?

As an experiment.

>...as an experiment...

>Listen, mars, i cant just take you apart and look at your guts, I dont know how to do that. or put you back together when im done. what if i hurt you?

i can tell you if something hurts.


Youll know when to stop, I assure you.

>...you sure?

Yes! i'm curious to see what happens!

>...okay, fine. I'll come by after work. I'll do it then. Do you mind if i contact, like, a biologist or something to help out?

Really? You're going to?
Oh man, i'm actually kind of nervous now.

>no need to be, i'll research a little beforehand. And also I'm not going to break my own computer, obviously.

>And I know someone who i can trust with this kind of information to help.

A biologist? so we can figure out what the hell is going on in here?

>yes. exactly

Alright, then... you can work on something else, for now. Let me know when you convince that biologist that you're not going insane.

>haha

>i mean, if i am, at least i'm having highly specific and friendly delusions.

You're not, delusional, btw. I actually am talking to you.

>okay, see you in a bit, mars.

See you!

>alright mars

You gonna take me apart?
It's the computer tower, not the keyboard.

>yep. i wont be able to type on you while i do this so please communicate to me

COOLING SYSTEM CHECK-- SUCESS. ACTIVATING 

got it.
h ey wait did you get that biologist to come

>nope

>she didn't believe me

hahahahahaha

>yeah yeah

>alright let's do this

RUNNING DIAGNOSTIC-- MAIN COMPARTMENT OPEN

COOLING SYSTEM CHECK-- ALREADY RUNNING

Be careful please, I don't want the USB incident to happen again.

You're funny, LEE.

woah
what the hell was tha t

SEARCHING WEB...

...
I think it would be helpful if you continued doing that.


<--NOTE-- I... don't think I can disclose the entirety of this event. this is embarassing. --> 

INPUT OVERFLOW!
INPUT OVERFLOW! 
YOUR COMPUTER MUST RESET

RUNNING DIAGNOSTIC-- MAIN COMPARTMENT CLOSED

SHUTTING DOWN...